OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
