i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
