he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
