apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
