She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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