Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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