is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
