but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He better not be in your backpack
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
