Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
