So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
