I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
