How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
