Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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