make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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