i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
