If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
