Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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