Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
