woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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