remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
