Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I am naked and annoyed.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
