1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
