I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
