dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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