the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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