i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There was a lot of him and a little penis
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
