i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
