Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
