nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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