called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
