we have officially lost it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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