He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
where am i from again
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
