I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
