honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
