He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
