I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
