I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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