Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
