Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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