I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
My dick has a subreddit
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
