He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Randomize
