I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The air was thick with penises
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
