I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
