Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
