Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
