Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
