no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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