I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
