He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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