Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You need a sexual gate keeper
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
