Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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