You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
