david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
