Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
